7G11 - Life on the Fast Lane (March 18, 1990)

Summary: Homer gives Marge a bowling ball for her birthday, leading her to take up bowling lessons and consider adultery with her instructor.

References to Time:
- It's Marge's 34th birthday
- Maggie walks
- Homer thinks it's his birthday
- Previous gifts from Homer (tackle box, Connie Chung calendar)
- Homer gives the HOMER bowling ball to Marge, who has never bowled before
- There's a sign for League sign-ups at the bowling alley
- Bart notes that Wednesday is Hoagie Night
- Helen Lovejoy introduces herself to Marge
- Homer once gave Bart advice to keep his mouth shut to prevent things from getting worse

References to Other Episodes:
- Barney's Bowlarama has a sign that says "NEW." In a previous episode (Moaning Lisa?), the news mentioned that it had caught on fire.

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Homer does not appear to be safety inspector at the plant

Minimum Time Spanned: 5 days (Sunday - Thursday)

Canon: Canon, yes.

Favorite Moments:
- Marge holding the bowling ball over her head and asking "Where do I throw this?" at the alley
- Lisa wallows in stage 5 (self-pity) while Bart is in stage 3 (fear), and thus, cannot help him
- Homer talking about Marge's PBJ sandwiches

Review: Now this is a much better Homer/Marge story than the previous episode. Probably because it has Albert Brooks, and Albert Brooks is great. Homer's PBJ monologue is very touching and one of the best "I love you" moments I've ever seen out of him. A-

7G10 - Homer's Night Out (March 25, 1990)

Summary: Homer gets photographed by Bart while dancing with a stripper at a stag party.

References to Time:
- At the beginning of the episode, Homer has an assistant named Eugene Fisk who made a fool of himself to a girl who worked in another dept at an office party
- Homer is 239 lbs at the beginning
- 6 months later, Eugene Fisk (Homer's supervisor) is marrying the girl
- Homer says the party is "this Friday"
- Every day for the last 6 months, Bart has pestered the mail carrier

References to Other Episodes:
- Bart smashes his pre-smashed piggy bank (Homer smashed it in Homer's Odyssey)

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present

Minimum Time Spanned: 1 morning, followed by 6 months later, 2 days (Thursday-Friday), cut to 3 days later (Monday - Wednesday)

Canon: Apu doesn't know Homer, contradicting later episodes showing that they've known each other before Maggie was born. So, that part is not canon (although at the moment, it is unrefuted).

Favorite Moment: Bart: "Uh-oh, it's the fe-mailman" Lisa: "Fe-mail carrier, Bart"

Review: I don't particularly like this episode. The premise is very odd. Why do people care so much about the picture of Homer? Maybe 1990 was a different time, but it just doesn't translate well to today. The moral is okay, but the Marge/Homer rocky-relationship plot is better executed in later episodes. D

7G09 - Call of the Simpsons (February 18, 1990)

Summary: After destroying their new RV, the Simpsons get lost in the wilderness.

References to Time:
- The Simpsons own a manual mower, the Flanderses have a riding mower
- Flanders has a new RV
- Maggie walks
- Bart's lucky red hat floats away
- "Last week's capture of Bigfoot..."

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Dr. Marvin Monroe is alive

Minimum Time Spanned: 9 days (Saturday - next Sunday, possibly during the summer)

Canon: All canon

Favorite Moments:
- In an attempt to calm a frightened Maggie, Lisa points out some vultures circling overhead. "Look, Maggie! Birdies!"
- After covering the story of a possible Bigfoot sighting, the newscaster ends with "We now return you to the president's address, already in progress."

Review: This is the first episode featuring Albert Brooks as a guest voice (Bob the RV Salesman). Brooks always makes any episode he's in better. The story is fun too, but not very many brilliant moments. It's an okay epsiode. B

7G08 - Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire (December 17, 1989)

Summary: With no money for Christmas presents, Homer secretly tries to make enough money so Christmas won't be ruined.

References to Time:
- Lisa is in second grade, Bart is in fourth
- Snowball I was run over earlier in the year, so now they have Snowball II
- "Maggie is walking by herself"
- Lisa got straight A's
- Bart doesn't believe in Santa
- Lisa wants a pony, like she's asked for for the past 3 years
- Burns mentions that safety has increased at the plant
- Bart gets a tattoo
- Homer asks Patty and Selma how their trip went (probably refering to their car ride, implying they live out of town)

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- Homer appears to be doing something that could qualify as safety inspector work at the plant
- SLH is introduced

Minimum Time Spanned: 4 days (Dec 21st - 24th, most likely Thursday-Sunday)

Canon: Yes, except for the Patty and Selma being from "out of town"

Favorite Moments:
- Son and father at the racetrack. "Can we open our presents now, Dad?" "You know the tradition: not until the 8th race."
- Lisa's speech to Patty about trashing her father is pretty poetic, especially since Lisa had just finished enjoying a Happy Little Elves Christmas special.
- "I don't wanna leave until our dog finishes."

Review: I grew up with this episode and have seen it many times. So the effects of the episode are a bit lost on me. I know the entire dialogue by heart. However, after having not watched it for several years, I found myself enjoying the episode again. I even felt a little bit of emotion rise up at the end when Homer says that SLH is a Simpson. B+

7G07 - The Telltale Head (February 25, 1990)

Summary: Bart cuts off the head of the statue of Jebediah Springfield in order to be popular.

References to Time:
- Maggie walks
- Space Mutants 4 is in theaters
- Jimbo, Kearney, and Dolph meet Bart. Bart already knows them.
- Jimbo's been kicked out of all 4 Space Mutant movies
- Jebediah supposedly built the first Springfield hospital out of logs and mud during the Great Blizzard of '48
- Jebediah supposedly killed a bear with his bare hands in 1838 as he traveled west (the bear probably killed him though)
- Snowball II is present
- Burns doesn't know Bart
- Sideshow Bob is on the Krusty Show

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Dr. Marvin Monroe is alive
- Retirement home looks nice

Minimum Time Spanned: 2 days (Sunday - Monday)

Canon: Sure, all canon

Favorite Moment: "When I was your age, I pulled a few boners." Also, the scenes in church where Homer is listening to the football game as Lovejoy gives his sermon and the kids harass their Sunday School teacher with questions about heaven.

Review: Great episode. Funny lines. Classic story. Heartfelt moral. What The Simpsons should be like all the time. A

7G06 - Moaning Lisa (February 11, 1990)

Summary: Lisa has the blues and Bart and Homer play a boxing video game.

References to Time:
- Bart implies Homer is at least 30 years old
- Lunch is at 12:00 in Springfield Elementary
- Bart has beaten Homer 48 times at Super Slugfest at the beginning of the episode
- Maggie walks
- Marge remembers how her mother approached her sadness when she was Lisa's age
- Saddest day of Homer's life was when he realized he could beat his dad at most things (Bart experienced this at the age of 4)
- Lisa's the saddest kid in grade #2
- Lisa has band practice...in addition to music class? Band practice for Saturdays, I'm assuming
- The kid in the arcade has had over 2000 fights and is still on his original quarter
- Homer appears to have gone through all his quarters at the arcade before Lisa arrives at band practice. Maybe some scenes were shifted for better dramatic tension. Maybe they happened simultaneously.

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Lisa meets Bleeding Gums Murphy
- Bart prank calls Moe
- Moe's TV is color

Minimum Time Spanned: 2 days (most likely Friday & Saturday)

Canon: All canon

Favorite Moment: Bleeding Gums Murphy's song "I Never Had an Italian Suit Blues" and his quote, "The blues isn't about feelin' better. It's about making other people feel worse. And makin' a few bucks while you're at it."

Review: Nice first big Lisa episode. Not the greatest, but not the worst. Very average when compared to the big Lisa episodes that will follow. B

7G05 - Bart the General (February 4, 1990)

Summary: Bart wages war against Nelson Muntz after getting routinely beat up by him.

References to Time:
- Lisa makes cupcakes for Miss Hoover's birthday
- Bart meets Nelson's weasel friend
- Fight after school at 3:15
- Nelson's in all the same special classes as Bart
- Lisa remembers the fight Grampa put up when they put him in the home
- Bart meets Herman
- Herman lost his arm after sticking it out the bus window as a kid
- Grampa reminisices about the war
- The weasels betray Nelson
- Some sailor-hatted kid kisses Lisa (her first kiss?)
- Treaty: Nelson is never to raise his fist in anger, Nelson recognizes Bart's right to exist, Nelson remains a figurehead of menace

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present.
- The retirement home looks nice (Grampa spruces it up in Old Money)

Minimum Time Spanned: 4 days (my guess is Wednesday - Saturday)

Canon: All canon, except for Bart's epilogue about war

Favorite Moment: I found a lot of my favorite lines came from Bart's fantasy about his funeral, especially Milhouse's joy that they got to miss school for the funeral followed by Homer's joy that he got to miss work. It's a shame they cut this part out in syndication.

Review: Usually when I think about this episode, I remember a lot of the moments that fall flat. But rewatching it, I found a lot of cute touches, like one of the kid's water balloons popping right before the war starts, or Bart coughing his hat out in the treehouse, or Herman shouting "You'll need more!" after Bart tells him he has no soldiers. Moments like these boost this one up a few notches from my original score. A-

7G04 - There's No Disgrace Like Home (January 28, 2008)

Summary: Homer feels his family is an embarrasment and seeks family therapy to make them "normal."

References to Time:
- Burns once complimented Marge's gelatin dessert, which was the only time he'd ever spoken to Homer without using the word "bonehead"
- Homer has to tell his name to Smithers, implying Smithers is not well-acquanited with him yet
- Bart remembers that he has to let Burns win the sack race like last year's picnic
- A mother at the picnic mentions her children getting straight A's this term
- Homer's mother once called him a big disappointment
- Bart and Lisa's college fund is $88.50
- Marge offers to pawn her engagement ring
- Lisa wants to go to Vassar

References to Other Episodes: None.

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Dr. Marvin Monroe is alive
- Moe's TV is black and white (this alternates with color a lot during the series)
- Homer pawns the TV and promises a better TV (the one we're all familiar with)

Minimum Time Spanned: 3 days (Most likely Saturday- Monday)

Canon: The plot of Homer being embarrassed by his family seems to reverse everything we know about the Simpson family. He seems to be the sanest. Fortunately he shows his true colors towards the end. So, canon.

Favorite Moments:
- When entering Burns's house, Homer asks his family to behave and show him love or respect. Lisa: "We have a choice." Bart: "I'm picking respect."
- When spying on a normal family having dinner, Lisa points out, "The dad has a shirt on."
- Bart hitting Monroe in the shin with the metal rod after taking the foam off the mallet

Review: Although the beginning has the family acting slightly out of character, this shapes into one of the funnier Simpsons episodes of the first season. Plus it includes the famous electric shock scene which is comedically timed well. Still not the greatest episode, but has enough classic charm and funny moments to earn it a better review than the previous bunch. A-

7G03 - Homer's Odyssey (January 21, 1990)

Summary: Homer gets fired after an accident at the plant and discovers a passion for safety enforcement after a suicide attempt.

References to Time:
- Bart is in Krabappel's class.
- Krabappel's class "infamously" visited the Springfield State Prison on a previous field trip where Bart "didn't unlock that door."
- Bart wants a tattoo like Otto's. "Not 'til you're 14, my little friend."
- The kids wave to the Springfield Toxic Waste Dump, implying another previous field trip
- 7 Days since the last plant accident
- Sherri and Terri's father fires Homer from the plant
- Homer was a technical supervisor at the plant
- Homer has caused many industrial accidents and he has always bounced back, according to Marge
- Homer has gone to Moe's for years
- Marge's old job was a roller-skating waitress
- Bart has a report card (1 D, 2 F's, and 3 U's)
- Burns: "Ah, Homer Simpson, at last we meet." Homer: "Same here."

References to Other Episodes: None, although Blinky the three-eyed fish appears

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- The tire yard is not on fire (It normally is)
- Bart prank calls Moe
- Homer becomes the plant safety inspector

Minimum Time Spanned: 9 days (Thursday to the next Friday)

Canon: Smithers is black or "very tan" as the producers said. Consensus is he had just returned from a very hot location. But we can assume Smithers's skin is not canon. Also, this episode shows the introduction of Burns, as well as Homer getting his job as safety inspector. This storyline is contradicted many times in future episodes (which generally imply that Homer has had this job and knew Burns before Maggie was born, especially in And Maggie Makes Three). At the moment, this episode is canon, but it can change.

Favorite Moment: At the rally against the power plant, the crowd cheers after every Homer-inspired safety sign is listed, except for the speed limit sign, which is booed.

Review: As with most of the early episodes, characters are established, but the plots and jokes just don't hold up as well over time. I enjoy Bart having to sing John Henry as punishment though. B-

7G02 - Bart the Genius (January 14, 1990)

Summary: Bart switches I.Q. tests with Martin Prince, allowing him to go to a school for gifted kids.

References to Time:
- Bart takes an I.Q. Test in Krabappel's class, 4th grade.
- Bart has to meet with Skinner "Same time, same place?" "Yes, in my office, after school."
- Dr. Pryor is introduced
- Bart enjoyed the time he spent with Homer over "the past few weeks"

References to Other Episodes: None

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present

Minimum Time Spanned: 1 evening (probably Wednesday), 2 weeks (ends in the evening of a school day, Bart references a "few weeks" passing)

Canon: The first season of The Simpsons behaves as some sort of ancient mythology for the show. The characters are all there, but they just aren't the same as what we're used to now. We ignore the animation and voices and even character traits that contradict later episodes. So, ignoring the usual fare, everything is canon so far.

Favorite Moment: After Martin points out the misspelling of the word "wiener" in the vandalism, he adds, "Although 'E-I' is an acceptable ethnic variant," to which Skinner replies, "Good point." Bart and Homer bonding are nice, but it'd hold more impact once we get to know the characters better.

Review: Ms. Melon tells a mathematical pun in which the "joke" is that the answer of "(r^2)dr" could also be written as "rdrr" or "Har-dee-har-har." First, it's a stretch that even the smartest students would write "rdrr" before "rrdr." It's an even bigger stretch that they'd know to sound out the answer in their heads to get the verbal similarities between the answer and, what I can only assume was a popular phrase in 1990, Har-dee-har-har. That is my review. C

7G01 - Some Enchanted Evening (May 13, 1990)

Summary: Homer gives Marge the romantic night of her dreams while the kids deal with a notorious burglar posing as a babysitter.

References to Time:
- Bart and Lisa are in school
- Marge is 34 years old
- Marge misses the romance Homer had when they were younger and dating
- It's meatloaf night
- Maggie can walk
- Marge and Homer had chaperones on their dates as teens
- 11 years ago, Homer hit Marge's head when crossing the threshold (presumably on their wedding night)

References to Other Episodes:
- None really, seeing as how it's the first episode produced. But there is a bowling ball with "HOMER" engraved on it. It isn't green like the one he infamously gave Marge, but the lights are dim so it could be the same one.

SLH Presence:
- SLH is not present
- Dr. Marvin Monroe is alive (He dies in the future)
- Homer's job does not look like his safety inspector job (He gets that job in Homer's Odyssey)
- Bart makes prank calls to Moe (He stops in the episode New Kid on the Block)
- No Olmec head in the basement (The family receives it in Blood Feud)

Minimum Time Spanned: One day exactly (most likely a Friday)

Canon: It's the first episode, so no reason to suspect anything as non-canon yet, save for the appearance of the house (see Review)

Favorite Moment: After unsuccessfully trying to knock out the babysitter with a bowling ball, Bart points out to her, "Seeing as no one was hurt, I think it'd be really silly to dwell on this."

Review: Although this was the first episode produced, it was the last shown of the season. They used the extra time with the episode cleaning up a lot of the animation so that it fit with the rest of the episodes (such as the layout of the house or the look of the characters). However, they did not do this to all of the scenes, so the episode alternates between good animation and bad animation, making for a disjointed episode. The story itself is okay, and has a few charming moments. The episode is not great when put up against what the series was going to turn into, but you can see the start of something good within the episode. Since it has the unfortunate position of being first, I shall give it the benefit of the doubt. B

My Little Project: A Simpsons Chronology

Here's the plan. In an attempt to create a coherent Simpsons' timeline, I will go through every episode and, by using the context clues, arrange the episodes as they would occur chronologically. Tedious? Yes. Pointless? Pretty much. Fun? Almost.

Every day, I will chronicle an episode. I am going in order of production codes and stopping once I hit the Mike Scully era, because at that point, all reason and logic is out the window. I shall break down every episode as follows:

Summary: One sentence summary of the show

References to Time: This can be anything ranging from what season it is to the age of the characters. If specific years are mentioned, I'll note how this year fits into Simpson-time (for example, "Bart is born in 1980" is equal to "Bart was born 10 years ago").

References to Other Episodes: Any episode that is referenced will probably fall before this one in the chronology

SLH Presence: Usually by the end of an episode everything goes back to normal. Some episodes change things permanently. The first broadcast episode of The Simpsons added Santa's Little Helper to the cast. This category will chronicle major events that usually affect future episodes, including whether or not SLH appears.

Minimum Time Spanned: Some episodes take place in a day, some in a month. This is to help keep everything to the shortest about of time that the episode could take place in so it can be placed in the timeline without issue.

Canon: Is the episode canon or not canon? I'll also point out specific moments that lead to contradictions in the timeline. For my purposes, jokes that break continuity will be considered non-canon if they contradict major storylines.

Favorite Moment: Since the final product of this project won't appear until I've amassed a few episodes, I might as well add portions that can be read before the timeline is finished.

Review: A mini-review of the episode

I expect that the 8 seasons I will cover should ultimately boil down to a 1-2 year span in the life of the Simpsons. It may seem like a big waste of a Simpsons fan's time but I saw someone do it for Full House. The Simpsons deserves it more.